My husband (a highly educated professional) was secretly addicted to porn for a decade. I didn’t know what was causing the loss of intimacy, the anger, the paranoia and the misogyny, but I knew that something was deeply wrong. One day I found out, and it made sense: all the times he had locked himself away, or pretended he needed to be ‘alone’. All the fury that he had directed at me (and our small daughter) whenever we’d come close to finding out. It had disfigured him, made him a liar and a bully. A contemptuous and aggressive brute. Although we are still together and he has had therapy and is recovered, trust was destroyed and I don’t think it will ever be the same.