I began watching porn at the young age of 11. It has had a hold of me for 18 years. It became almost like a drug which I used to self soothe and drown out any negative feelings.
It sent me down a path of sexually objectifying women and has impacted my relationships terribly. I have suffered from depression and low self worth for many years and believe porn had a helping hand in this.
As most long term porn users know the genres which we engage in become more and more extreme once we get bored and need a ‘stronger’ hit.
For me this culminated in looking outside my sexuality and glorifying prostitution.
My addiction to porn led me to bring those genres into reality.
It has all led to the realisation that I am a Sex and Porn addict.
This discovery and self awareness did not come easily as I was in a strong state of denial as most addicts are.
It took the women I love to discover my actions and for mine and her entire world to come crumbling down. D-day (Discovery day)
2 weeks before we were due to be married.
Finally I was forced to stare at my problems, I couldn’t hide anymore.
I am now starting down the long road to recovery. I will most likely be attending SAA for the rest of my life, I need to exhibit a level of self awareness I have never truly had In my life. No days off.
This is my life now.
In a way it’s comforting to finally no longer have any secrets.
Porn set me down this path.
People didn’t know the effect it can have on a person’s Psyche. Or at least it was never talked about.
I hope people are more mindful than I was in my youth and that this issue is talked about as seriously as it deserves to be.
Stay strong
