Until my partner held up a mirror to what I was doing, I have to admit that porn had ruined my definition of how I related to women and to myself. It put me in the position of being an outsider. I didn’t cultivate meaningful or loving relationships because I was too invested in my use of porn – which I now appreciate was an addiction. Even when in previous relationships, I wasn’t invested in them fully as I had a sexualised view of the world. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone as the cycle of self loathing has damaged my own view of myself and I have lived a life in shame. I haven’t been present in my relationships either and this is the most harmful aspect. I am now porn free though and am grateful. Porn is just abusive for everyone involved.
